iFear Chickens
by xNomii
Summary: Okay, you would probably think "Are you kidding me!" But no, me, Sam Puckett, the fried chicken loving chick is extremely afraid of chickens. So now I was going to a farm filled with the things I feared the most, this was going to be a lovely day.


**A/N Well, here is an iCarly one-shot! Hope you like it!**

**iFear Chickens**

Okay, you would probably think "Are you kidding me!" But no, me, Sam Puckett, the fried chicken loving chick is extremely afraid of chickens. And I mean the ones that aren't fried with a crusty crust.

So, when we were going to a farm for iCarly and I was told it was a _**chicken**_ farm, I tried my very best not to panic. Well, I failed, badly.

Let me tell you what happened.

_Saturday, July 17__th__8 minutes past 8 PM._

"Sam! Freddie! I have exiting news!" Carly yelled in a cheering voice. She came running back into the iCarly studio, which she left 15 minutes ago because there was someone on the phone for her.

"Spit it out." I said, not taking my eyes of the movie Freddork and I were currently watching.

"Well, I asked my aunt Rachel if we could air iCarly from her place this week, and she agreed!" Carly said, clapping her hands.

"Where does she live?" Freddie asked curious.

"On a chicken farm!" Carly answered enthusiastic. As soon as she said chicken my head snapped her way.

"You mean they have chickens there?" I asked, I shivered at the word.

"Well, duh!" Carly said. "And we can air iCarly in the middle of all those chickens!"

"Awesomee." I said, hoping the wouldn't catch my sarcasm.

Fredwardo smiled, I guess he likes the little devils. I can't see why anyone would ever go willingly near a chicken. They look like an ugly creatures from hell. They scare the living meat out of me.

"But why?" I asked, because I really, REALLY didn't wanted to air iCarly from a chicken farm. But I also didn't wanted Carly, Fredward or anyone else for that matter to find out I wasn't completely fearless and I was afraid of something as stupid as chickens. That would completely ruin my reputation as a master bully.

"You remember the chickens from our science project 2 years ago?"

"Yes," I answered hesitatingly, and Freddie nodded.

"Well, they went to that chicken farm and I thought it would be cool if we showed our viewers how big they got!" Carly said.

"Oh," I said. "Where is this farm?" please let it be far away, please let it be far away, please let it be far away, I begged. Maybe, if it was far away, I could pretend my mom wouldn't let me go.

"It's in Spokane **[A/N Okay, I don't know anything about this place, not a thing, but it's a town about 5 or 6 hours from Seattle, so I chose it, I'm sorry if it makes no sense :P] **which is a 5 hour drive from here, Spencer is willing to take us."

Yes, I thought to myself, maybe I don't have to face the creatures from hell. But it was too good to be true, cause I realised Carly was still talking.

"And Spencer already called your mom's if you could go."

"Great," I said, again I hope they wouldn't catch my sarcasm, fortunately they didn't.

"Sam, you mom said that you could go, only you have to bring her eggs," Carly said.

Oh joy..

"And Freddie, your mom agreed to, but only if you promised to were your chicken protecting suit and your special helmet," Carly giggled.

"Seriously!" Freddie yelled. ""She completely lost it," he murmured to himself.

"But you're coming right?" Carly asked, and she was pulling the puppy dog eyes.

"Yeah, sure," Freddie answered

"Whoa, we're going to a chicken farm and I will see Yoko, Omelet, Benedict, Huevo, Shelly and Poachy again!" Carly cheered, and she danced her happy dance.

Great, I thought to myself, just great.

_Friday, July 23__rd__ 17 past 7 AM._

I was sitting between Fredward and Carly in the backseat of Spencer's car. We were driving to Spokane. I tried everything to get out of this trip, I tried getting detention on Friday, we officially had the day off cause the teachers had a meeting, it worked and I got detention, but then Carly went to talk with principal Franklin and he let me go and said I would make up for it on Monday. I tried to become ill, but that didn't work out. I made up a gazillion excused not to go like "It's a waste of gas," and "What if Spencer's car will burst into flames on the way?" and "But we have an important test do on Monday, don't you guys have to study?" but nothing worked. So now I was going to a farm filled with the things I feared the most, this was going to be a lovely day.

"Sam, can you please sit still! Your annoying me!" Freddork called out.

"Live with it," I returned and Freddie groaned.

"Well, Momma's going back to sleep," I said and I closed my eyes, I soon drifted of to sleep but I had an horrible nightmare. Chickens were killing all the pigs in the world, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. And after they were done with the pigs, they were coming for me. I woke up screaming, burring myself in the person next to me, thinking it was Carly, but this chest was harder than Carly's, but I was to scared to let go. Freddie slowly rocked me and rubbed my back a bit awkwardly.

"Calm down Sam, it's okay, it was just a dream," he shushed me, still a bit awkward. I calmed down and realised I was hugging Fredweird Benson, so I quickly pulled away.

"I'm calm," I said, I could feel the insane awkwardness, just like my day wasn't awesome enough. We all didn't talk for almost an hour, we now were 3 hours on the road, I slept for 2 hours, so the first thing Spencer said after an hour that he found it time to take a break and eat something. For the first time in my life, I wasn't hungry, but I didn't mention it. After 10 minutes Spencer pulled over at a gas station and he went to the shop to buy us some food. Carly, Freddie and I got out of the car and sat down in the damp grass.

"So," Carly said awkwardly, "Aren't you guys exited to see our chickens again?" She tried to make it less awkward, fortunately it worked.

"Of course," I lied, I tried my best not to sound sarcastic.

"I am, as long as Sam not tries to eat them." Freddie said with a grin.

"Loose the grin or I'll beat it of your face." I threatened, his face turned serious almost immediately which made me grin.

_Friday, July 23__rd__ 43 past 12 PM._

After 2 more hours in the car, in which we chatted a bit and played the travel version of monopoly, I won (though I cheated) Spencer announced were in Spokane. I stared out the window, I traded places with Carly so she was now in the middle. Spokane was kind of pretty, if you tried to forget the fact I was on my way towards my greatest fear.

"This is so exciting!" Carly screeched happily, this time I stayed was quit.

After 5 minutes Spencer stopped the car and I saw the farm of Carly's aunt Rachel. It was a huge farm, and it looked really old. Carly's aunt came walking towards us, she was a woman you just couldn't not like. Even for me, I often instantly hate people without even talking to them, but this women, I just couldn't hate.

"Aunt Rachel!" Carly yelled and she jumped out off the vehicle and gave her a hug.

"Auntie Rachel!" Spencer yelled and he hugged her too, when he did it, it looked kind of weird, if I wasn't this tense I might of laughed, like Freddie and Carly did. I only managed a faint smile.

We walked inside and Rachel instantly took us towards the kitchen because she figured we might be hungry. There was so much food, ham, chicken wings, sandwiches, pancakes and bacon, but I just wasn't hungry.

"Who are you and what did you do to Sam?" Freddie said when I didn't immediately dig in.

"I think I'm a bit car sick," I lied.

"An un-hungry Sam Puckett, well that's new." He joked and I shot him an evil glare and he shut up.

"Can I maybe lie down somewhere?" I asked Rachel.

"Of course, I will show you your room." She took me to the room I was sharing with Carly tonight, we were staying here a night.

"Thanks," I said and she left the room. I laid down on the bed and I felt the panic come over me. I closed my eyes and tried to relax, I took a few deep breaths and I felt sleep come over me. Sleeping just comes natural too me, even in times of severe distress, I still can fall asleep at will.

_Friday, July 23__rd__ 21 past 3 PM._

I woke up screaming, I had a nightmare again.

"What's wrong?" Carly asked startled, she said on the bed next to me and the magazine she was reading fell on the ground.

"Another nightmare."

"Where do you dream about then?" Carly asked, she tried to hide her obvious curiosity but she didn't do a very good job. But before I could answer her question, not that I would've told her the truth, Freddie came bursting trough our door.

"What happened? I heard someone scream," he questioned. I looked at Carly, trying to make her understand I really didn't wanted to tell Fredbag I had a nightmare again, lucky for me she got it.

"I saw a spider." Carly lied, and sighed of relief.

"Oh, do you want me to kill it?" Freddie asked.

"Uhm, no, Sam already killed it." She lied, she wasn't a good liar but Freddie fell for it. "But now you're here, we probably should go set up and rehearse for iCarly tonight." I didn't want to face the demonic creatures till I really had to, so I told Carly and Fredweird that I still felt a bit sick and I didn't wanted to miss iCarly tonight so I probably should stay here. I was a much better liar as Carly, so they fell for it. After a bit of whining from Carly cause she didn't wanted to rehearse on her own Freddie convinced her it was better for me to rest, or otherwise she maybe had to do the show alone, and they left. I had to thank him for that one day, oh who am I kidding, I will never thank Freddie. I grabbed my book from my bag, yeah I developed a strange love for reading, I decided I would kill sometime and try to calm down a bit.

_Friday, July 23__rd__ 52 past 5 PM._

"Sam! It's time for iCarly, Freddie and Carly are already waiting outside for you!" Spencer screamed and I closed my book. I surely killed some time, but I still wasn't calm.

"Coming!" I yelled back, trying to hide my shaky voice, Spencer and I walked towards Freddie and Carly. Spencer was coming because he was filming this iCarly, Carly found this was such a special iCarly, Freddie had to be on screen.

"There you guys are!" Carly said sighing. "What took you so long? iCarly is starting in 7 minutes!"

"6 actually," Freddie muttered, he was in normal clothes, he argued with his mom about it and the made a compromise, she could give him a tick bath and an ear cleansing when he came back and he didn't had to wear his chicken protection suit. .

"Okay, Sam, we will start out here and tell the viewers where we are, than we will go inside and Rachel will take us to our chickens and then we will show them to the viewers. Then Rachel will tell something about the chicken farm and than we just do some improvising, and than we're done. You got that." Carly explained.

"Uhm, yeah," I replied.

"iCarly starts in 3 minutes." Spencer said, Freddie came to stand besides me, so I stood in the middle. I hummed a song to keep myself calm, much to the annoyance of Carly and Freddie.

"Sam, will you please stop that!" Freddie finally said, he sounded highly annoyed.

"No." I mumbled softly, and I kept humming. Freddie's eyebrow went up when I reacted so differently than normal, but I just couldn't bring myself up to say something mean, but he remained silent after that.

"10 seconds." Spencer mentioned. "5, 4, 3, 2," and just like Freddie he didn't said the one. Carly was the first one to talk.

"We are here on a chicken farm, and.." I didn't really heard the rest of what she said, because was too worried about what was about to happen. The last I went near a chicken is about 7 years ago when wanted to go on horse riding lessons and my mom wouldn't leave me home alone so she took me to the riding-school. I already was terrified off chicks at that point, when my mom told me I could go look around I accidentally walked into a small barn filled with chickens. I burst out crying, screamed so hard the horses nearby went crazy and I almost trashed the whole barn. Since then I have avoid chickens, in which I did a very good job, till now.

"Sam, why don't you tell our viewers why we are on this chicken farm?" Carly said, and Spencer pointed the camera at me.

"Well, we thought it would be cool to show you how big the chickens from our science project have grown!" I tried my very best to sound cheerful, but now the chickens were so close, even my lying skills let me down. Freddie shot me a confused glare but I shrugged it off.

"Soo, let's go inside!" Carly beamed and she opened the huge doors. It was winter so the chickens were inside, it was a huge room with a path in the middle and on each side were gates and behind the gates were the demons, they had lots of space, not that I cared, I was busy to pretend I wasn't in a barn filled with chickens. Carly and Freddie walked towards Rachel, I quickly followed, not taking my eyes of my highly interesting red converses.

"This is Carly's aunt Rachel!" Freddie introduced Rachel.

"Hi! It's an honour to have you guys here. Now if you will follow me, I'll take you to your chickens," then she opened one of the gates and stepped inside, she signalled us to do the same. Carly and Freddie didn't hesitate and stepped inside, but I just stood there, looking at my shoes.

"Sam, come one! There is no time for jokes," Freddie hissed at me, then he grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. He wanted to let my hand go, but I was so scared I clutched on it as if my life depended on that hand. Spencer was too busy filming Carly and Rachel so none of the viewers saw what happened between Freddie and me. I'd like to keep it that way, but I just couldn't let go of his hand. Freddie tried to look at me, but I was still to interested in the ground, then he pulled at my hand and took me towards Carly and Rachel.

"So this is Omelet?" Carly asked curious, pointing towards something, I made the huge mistake to follow her pointing finger and I found myself facing 6 chickens, and one of them came walking towards me. Before I could stop myself I let out a muffled scream and buried myself in Freddie's chest. I let go of his hand and digged my nails into his shirt.

"Uhm, Sam?" Freddie whispered in my ear so the viewers wouldn't hear it, Spencer noticed what happened but he was so tactic to keep filming Rachel and Carly, who kept talking but I had no idea what they were saying. "What exactly are you doing?"

"If you would tell someone this, I would probably deny it and after that I'll kill you, bring you back to live and kill you again, but I'm extremely terrified of chickens." I mumbled in his ear, lies just wouldn't pop up in my head the way they usually did so I had no choice but to tell the truth.

"You kidding me right?" Freddie asked, I could feel him trying not to laugh.

"Nope," was my simple answer, Freddie stayed quit.

"Freddie, Sam!" Carly looked at us, Rachel was currently telling the viewers about why she started a chicken farm and Carly was drawing our attention. "Why, in the name of god, are you hugging, and why, again in the name of god, are you making me do iCarly alone!" She hissed.

"No reason, no reason at all." Freddie told her, "Sam was just telling me that she wanted to feel the fabric of my new shirt, so she did." Okay, I have heard some terrible lies, but this one is the worst lie I have ever heard, even though I was terrified, I had to bite my knuckles to keep myself from laughing.

"Yup, just wanted to know how this interesting fabric felt," I mumbled in a serious voice, but Carly didn't buy it.

"Sam, if you feel the urge to be near Freddie cause you are physically attracted to him, I absolutely have no problem with that, but can you please keep yourself together during the show!" she growled.

"What, no! I'm not physically attracted to him! He's a nub!" I whisper-yelled.

"Than explain why during this conversation your arms were clung around his torso," oh, she's good, and with that the conversation was closed, Carly ripped me of off Freddie dragged me over to Rachel, were the chickens were. I don't think she noticed the look of pure fear on my face, but Freddie sure did. He quickly followed us and slipped his hand in mine. Under normal circumstances, this would be extremely inappropriate and weird. But seeing the fact I clung to his hand just minutes ago and was extremely terrified right now, I guess it was okay.

His thumb was drawing small circles on the back of my hand, calming me down a bit.

Carly started talking again, telling them this iCarly was almost over, "we just have one more surprise for you!" she cheered, wait, what? I couldn't remember anything about a surprise.

"Sam, Freddie and I will now randomly dance around with these chicken!" she clapped, she looked at Rachel who handed her Omelet, and she started dancing. Rachel started to picked up an all-white chicken and started walking towards us. I stepped behind Freddie.

"No need, I already have my chicken," Freddie chuckled, than he did something unexpected. He picked me up bridal-style, and he started dancing also. I could do nothing else than laugh, even though I was in the arms of the nub and surrounded by chickens.

"So that was it for this iCarly," Freddie and I yelled simultaneously into the camera and Spencer gave the sign the show had ended.

"Thanks," I whispered in Freddie's ear, and I turned my head to kiss his cheek, but at that exact moment, Freddie also turned his head and my lips found his, accidentally, but I didn't pull away. In no time the kiss deepened. Sparks ran trough my whole body when Freddie's tongue found mine, it was better than our first kiss, it was amazing. I don't know why we both didn't pull away, but it just felt so right. I could feel 3 pairs of eyes burning in the back of my head, and I unwillingly pulled away. My face felt bright red and when I looked at Freddie I saw he also blushed fiercely. We both turned our heads towards Carly.

"Guys," Carly started, "Can you PLEASE tell me what's going on!" she yelled.

"Well…"

**A/N Hope you liked it! Maybe the kiss was a bit weird, but I wanted them to kiss! So, cause it's my story, I could do that :P Now, if you want to review, do it cause it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy! **


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